Tuesday, August 26, 2014

10 Things I Won't Be Doing This Year

1) No more animals.
We have three rescue chickens, and two rescue dogs. No more animals.

2) No more kids.
We adopted a teenager last year. He used us and he manipulated us. End of story. We haven't seen him in about three months. It was one of the most difficult losses we've ever encountered, but we are stronger and wiser now. We are moving forward and we are so grateful for everything we DO have. 

3) No more toxic people.
I need good people in my life, not people who suck my soul dry and cause me to have panic attacks.

4) I will not beat myself up for not having a perfect body.
I'm finally comfortable with ME! I have curves and I have rolls--who cares? My middle section housed two beautiful baby boys and the 'girls' aka boobs, fed those boys for a combined 5 and a half years. Sure, my arms could take flight with the wings I have and my thighs are jiggly and misshapen, but I'm healthy and I'm genuine.

5) I will not make excuses.
I really don't need to explain myself. If I don't want to do something, I'm not going to do it unless it's legally or morally required.

6) I will not change my phone number.
If I had a dollar for every time I changed my number because of other people and their love of drama, let's just say I'd have a giant pile of dollars. 

7) I will not lose myself again.
The last 20 some odd months have been very stressful and challenging due to adopting the teenager. I shouldn't have had to work that hard for a legal adult. I lost myself in the process and it didn't do me any good. I have my life back now, and my family is whole again. I need to take care of me so I can take care of my family.

8) I will not procrastinate.
I'm so bad at this. So is my hubs. Ugh.

9) I will not let others bring me down.
Their problems and issues are their own, I do not own their words nor do I own their problems. I will be a good friend, but I will not allow non-friends to affect my outlook on life. People are still good.

10) I will not get a cool Tibetan tattoo without first making sure the word actually means something.
I found a great tattoo on Pinterest and I thought it meant 'hope.' Well, it doesn't. It means 'well-behaved hat' in Hindi. So basically I am super awesome with a super unique and quirky tattoo that means nothing! Figures!

Sunday, August 24, 2014

10 Things That Make Me Quirky

1) I love the smell of plywood. 
Seriously, I love it. I go to home improvement stores just so I can stand in the lumber department and shove my face into stacks of wood. This embarrasses my family but I do it anyway. The scent reminds me of my dad. He was always building something.

2) I have no problem rearranging the dishwasher is it's loaded the wrong way.
I do this all the time. I don't know why.

3) I don't like matching bedding.
I have a bazillion pillow cases and I use all of them all the time. Right now I have pink checkered cases, zombie cases, and other various pillow cases made by my awesome sister.

4) I sleep better with my 'blankie.'
My sister makes all my blankets, but there is one that I must have in order to sleep well. I take it everywhere I go. It's pink and I love it.

5) I make my own laundry soap.

6) I refuse to use bleached flour.

7) I fold towels a certain way.
I will unfold and refold them if they are not done correctly. Again, I don't know why.

8) I don't care much for Disney. 
I like going to Disneyland but the idea of spending thousands of dollars to stand in line for 6 hours just to go on a ride that will cause me to vomit doesn't sound like much fun anymore. Plus, I just know one of my kids would fall off a ride. I just know it.

9) Pink is my absolute favorite color in the whole wide world.

10) I married my first and ONLY boyfriend.
Dead serious. I didn't date anyone in high school or college. I didn't even really date him, either. We met in high school but we were good friends for years before we got engaged. It was pretty much like, "oh, there you are, let's get married." 20 years and counting!

There you have it! 
What makes you a bit quirky?

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Are You A Prime Target For Victimization By A Sociopath?

Personality Traits in Victims©

Prime Target for Victimization

This list is not exhaustive. A person possessing some of the traits listed below is a prime target for victimization by a person desiring a sociopathic relationship style.
  • A belief that if you love enough the person will change
  • A belief that if you love enough the relationship will succeed
  • Difficulty establishing and maintaining boundaries
  • Unable to say no
  • Being easily influenced by others
  • Wanting to be rescued from your life situation
  • Wanting to rescue others from their distress
  • Being over-nurturing, particularly when not asked
  • Feelings of shame and self-doubt
  • Low self-esteem
  • A lack of memories about childhood or periods of adulthood
  • Shyness
  • Difficulty communicating
  • A lack of self-confidence
  • Wanting to please
  • A lack of motivation from within and being motivated by what others want

The Signs of Victimization

The signs listed below are typical but, in and of themselves, are not symptoms of victimization. If you or anyone you know have these signs, please see a qualified professional for evaluation. These are the primary signs; the list is not exhaustive.
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Fear of relationships
  • Numbing of feelings
  • Irritability
  • Difficulty falling asleep
  • Fear of being alone
  • Severe mood swings
  • Loss of energy
  • Loss of interest in life
  • Suicidal thoughts or actions
  • The classic symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder
PLEASE NOTE: Personality Traits in Victims© is the original work of The Sociopathic Style™. They were written in 2005 and are protected under US copyright laws.  If you are going to share them, please do not rewrite them and do link back to this page. Thanks!


Monday, August 18, 2014

20 Psychopath Traits According to Dr. Robert Hare

The Hare Psychopathy Checklist – Revised 

A diagnostic tool used to identify psychopathic traits. 

Dr. Robert Hare, Emeritus Professor of Psychology at the University of British Columbia, created the Psychopathy Checklist as a tool to determine the length of stay for incarcerated individuals. Hare used the most common traits among psychopaths, and ranked each trait on a scale from 0-3. Those who receive higher scores would probably receive a longer prison sentence.

Here is his criteria for diagnosing psychopathic behavior:
  1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM — The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Psychopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything.  A psychopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
  2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH — A grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Psychopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.
  3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM — An excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Psychopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.
  4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING — Can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.
  5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS — The use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.
  6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT — A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, cold-hearted, and non-empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.
  7. SHALLOW AFFECT — Emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
  8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY — A lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
  9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE — An intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
  10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS — Expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.
  11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR — A variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
  12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS — A variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.
  13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS — An inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
  14. IMPULSIVITY — The occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
  15. IRRESPONSIBILITY — Repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
  16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS — A failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
  17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS — A lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
  18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY — Behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
  19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE — A revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.
  20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY — A diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.The word psychopath can be replaced with the word sociopath throughout this page. The meaning is very similar, if not the same.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

How To Have A Lovely Day

I love this image. I have it posted on my Inspiration Board in my home office. I look up at it often, because I seem to need the reminder plastered in front of my face these days.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

10 Signs You Are Involved With A Sociopath

What Is A Sociopath?

A sociopath is an individual inflicted with a serious and untreatable personality disorder. There is no official definition for sociopathy or psychopathy, instead these commonly-used terms have been replaced with the blanket term: personality disorder. In short, sociopaths have a complete disregard for the feelings and rights of others. Sociopathic traits typically appear in late adolescence or emerging adulthood.  These traits are distinct, constant, severe and repetitive. Sociopathic behavioral patterns go beyond cultural and societal norms. These people fail to feel remorse or guilt, they lack a conscience and are completely self-serving and cruel. They consistently disregard rules, social mores and laws, and engage in high risk behaviors or encourage others to do so.

10 Signs You Are Involved With A Sociopath

1.  He Drips Charm

He is charming and pleasant--a true delight to be around. You are drawn to him for those very reasons. He says everything you want to hear, and he has convinced you that you are special, perfect and his savior. He is a wordsmith although he is also very glib at the same time. Everything about his guy is superficial.

2.  He Has Few 'Feelings'
Let me correct that, he has NONE! He simply isn't capable of sharing feelings because he doesn't have any.  He doesn't love anyone, he doesn't care about anyone but himself, he doesn't miss anyone, he doesn't feel, period. If he exhibits feelings, it's because he's learned through observation. Sociopaths are wired differently and they are incapable of showing true emotions.,

3.  He is a Master Manipulator
He is skilled in the art of manipulation, to the point where you are compromising all you normally believe in to keep him happy. He is so sly at control that you don't even realize it's happening, despite your loved ones telling you what is going on. You can't see through his deception because you love him enough to see past his flaws. 

4.  He is irresponsible and impulsive

He has poor decision making skills. He is a 'fly by the seat of his pants' type of guy. You find this stimulating and exciting at first but it gets old after about a year or two. He's a daredevil! He loves to participate in dangerous sports or activities and gets a huge rush from danger. He doesn't appear to have much concern for his own safety of the safety of others.

5.  He love bombs you from the start

Love takes time. Period. If he says, "I've never loved anyone as much as I love you," after a few weeks or months, run as fast as you can because he's probably said it dozens of times to dozens of women. He text messages you all the time, he emails you, send you sweet messages over social media but he doesn't call much. Why? It's easier to hide behind a screen where voice inflections and facial expressions don't exist. He can say what he wants without having to worry about making it look good.

6.  He has a strong sense of entitlement

He seems to have an unrealistic or inappropriate set of expectations or "needs" and believes he should receive priority treatment in all situations. He always seems to want more, nothing is ever enough. 

7.  He is misogynistic

He hates women and has a long history of mistreating them--from his own mother to all his girlfriends/wives.  Chances are, he has "issues" with his mother and that's why it's so "hard" for him to open up, but he will to you, because you are his soul mate. Only every woman has been his soul mate.

Every former girlfriend/wife is "crazy" and "controlling." He loves what women can do for him, but he doesn't care for them. He is promiscuous and unfaithful. All.The.Time. 
8.  Zero Personal Responsibility

It's never his fault. Ever. He has an excuse for everything. Even if he's caught red-handed, it's YOUR fault. He will use his master manipulation skills to convince you that you are in the wrong, and you will end up feeling bad for HIS mistakes. 
9.  He is a pathological liar

He lies about everything--family, education, job, accomplishments, past. If you have a hunch about his story, verify it All lies. If you find yourself having to play detective in your relationship, get out. Relationships are about honesty, being truthful and respectful to each other and truly caring for each other. If your partner is changing his story often or if something just doesn't 'feel' right, your intuition is trying to tell you something. Listen very carefully. 

10. He lacks empathy

Most sociopaths have carefully observed other people's responses to different situations. They have learned how to appropriately respond so as to not draw attention to themselves. If you find that your partner doesn't respond to serious situations or intense events like most people do, start paying very close attention to his responses to all situations. If the death of a loved one doesn't appear to have much of an effect on him, or sad news about a friend's illness doesn't cause an emotional reaction, he probably lacks empathy.

Hunting and Foraging the Portland Wild 8/16/2014

Hunting and Foraging the Portland Wild
Free community lecture with Trackers Earth
August 16, 2014, 6:30pm

4617 SE Milwaukie Avenue, Portland, OR

In recent years there has been a resurgence of people who
forage their food from the land. This is not only limited to rural or wild areas: There is a new movement of urban gatherers who eke out a living that includes gleaning city fruit trees and hunting invasive nutria.

Tom Prang, Lead Instructor for Trackers Earth, has lived the subsistence lifestyle for nearly 30 years. After teaching himself to hunt and trap as a teenager, he got a degree in archaeology and started his research in Alaska. It was there Tom and his wife Julia Pinnix lived from the bounty of
nature—hunting their own meat, bottling cellars of wild wines, preserving fruits, mushrooms, and roots, and even making stone and bone tools.

Community Lecture: 

Tom will be presenting a free lecture titled Subsistence Hunting and Foraging: How to Get Started at 6:30pm on August 16, 2014. 

This is also the first public event at Trackers Earth’s new Portland Headquarters for their Outdoor Skills and Folk Craft School. The new location features one of the largest indoor archery ranges in Portland which will be open to the public before the event begins. Attendees of all ages and experience levels are welcomed to come and hear Tom discuss ways, ethics, and regulations of hunting and foraging for food. 

About Trackers Earth: 

Trackers Earth teaches "common sense skills” that are no longer common. This includes old­time outdoor skills of Forest and Folk Craft that include wilderness
survival, wild plants, homesteading and blacksmithing. Each year they serve over 12,000 youth through their award­ winning camps as well as providing a range of adult programs. With creative themes such as zombie survival, bow making, and even the official Hellboy camp, they’re not your typical nature school. 2014 starts a year ­long celebration for the 10th anniversary of Trackers Earth.